Adam recently found this old tossed-aside pair of headphones. He brought them home as a gift, fixed up so I can use them with my iPod. They are clunky and don’t fit in my purse and make everything sound a bit tinny. I love them. I love the way they feel so big and round on my ears. I love that they are brown and white and full of personality. I love hearing my dearest music in a new way.
When I was little, I wanted to be an inventor. I wanted to invent things like this and this and this. In fourth grade (or was it third?), we split into teams and had an inventing contest. We were given materials and had an hour to create something. The other kids were all building catapults with plastic spoons. But I, was far too advanced for that sort of thing. I had a brilliant idea. A Stamp-o-matic. That’s right, when stamping things manually gets too rough, just turn the crank made from broken pencils, put your paper on the conveyor belt wrapped around toilet paper tubes and- voila!- the Stamp-o-matic will stamp it for you. And, of course, it didn’t work. Not even a little.
I think it was that day that I realized I would be a terrible inventor. Not only do I lack the mechanical skills but also that ever-imporant attention to detail. I quickly gave up hope that I would grow up to be a female Caractacus Potts (I thought being an astronaut was much more suitable… claustrophobia notwithstanding). But I never stopped loving the romance of invention as I saw it as a little girl. Never.
Then, some years later, I married my very own inventor. Adam is always tinkering with this or that. I think there’s nothing that man can’t fix or remagine. To my left on the couch are some mysterious chords. To my right is an Xbox split into several peices. I have a hunch that this will be the story of my life. I love it. On my way home from work today, walking and listening to music in my headphones, I imagined a house Adam and I would have together in some years, full of funny, reimagined trinkets, some practical, some clumsy and charming.
I’m the luckiest girl ever.
-taking pictures of all the wonderful September foods that find their way from the farm to my cutting board.
-buying Sunday morning pastries from Sophias.
-finishing this book
-reading this interview
-waking with the sun
-doing morning chores
-sharing an evening beer on the porch with Adam
-working with my hands
-thinking about taking a carpentry class
-writing by candle light
Outside our bedroom window are the leaves of a tall tree. As I write this morning, three small sparrows are gnawing on its tough, red berries. I tried a small bite of one once. It was tasteless and bitter, probably poisonous. It makes me happy to see the birds enjoy them. It makes me happy to feel well, again, after a day and a half in bed and a week of being lethargic. Much gratitude to Adam for being the sweetest nurse in the world. Nothing like a bout of sickness to restore one’s enthusiasm. Kids are good at that, too. And sunshine after a rainy spell. And girl talk. And a listening to a good lecture of sorts. And a good, long breeze.
I had a dream about a breeze last night. It was a lovely dream. Maybe I’ll tell you about it sometime.
What are other things that restore your enthusiasm?
It wasn’t the best apartment, but it was home, our first home together.
Most of the time it was messy and it got so hot in the summer and “three chord” was always playing his three chords on his guitar. He got much better by the end of the year. So did we.
Now, a new year, a new apartment, a new book to write.
Photos from our new place tomorrow when we move in and begin making another new place home.
Contents of closets are spilled out on the floor with box after empty box. It’s chaos this time of year in apartments around the city, but Adam wrote my name on the wall in white paint. That makes it heaps better. So do the tomatoes from the porch. And just the anticipation of being in a new place soon, sleeping in a different room, cooking on a different stove, taking showers in a different bathroom, and calling it all home.
Our anniversary was great. Our first year of marriage was even better.
Next year, I want to have more three-hour long meals with Adam. Many more. There are far too few of them in our lives. You should come over. We’ll share them.
And next year, I kind of want to build a table.
What I don’t remember:
-What I ate for breakfast that day
-How I got to my parents’ house
-If it was hot out
-What music was played at the reception (with a few exceptions)
-What food was served
- How the cake tasted
-What booze we drank
-What was said in the toasts
-Who won the bubble blowing competition.
I do remember:
-Who caught the bouquet
(it was Cassie)
-Who judged the bubble blowing competition.
(it was Hannah)
-That kiss
-Laughing with my dad
-My mother’s face
-Adam
-The dancing
-How I didn’t feel nervous. Not one bit.
-Feeling really at home with all those people around I love so much.
One year. It’s been such a year. I loved it. I loved it all, Adam.
There’s so much more to say. But for now, I’m just going to enjoy it.
I feel like Adam and I are taking these great little steps. My writing is inching along in quite beautiful ways*, and Adam is moving in the direction of Industrial/Product Design school. Yup! I am proud and excited. Financing all this will be an adventure, so send your prayers our way, friends. It’s an adventure I’m looking forward to.
Until then, we’ll go on learning to recognize
what we love, and what it takes
to tend what isn’t for our having.
-Li-Young Lee
Amen.
*Let me know if you’d like to help me edit the first 37 pages of my next book. I need all the help I can get.
Adam and I are back from our little camping trip in Michigan!
It was nice to spend time in little towns where everyone waves to each other, hang out by the lake, take long walks through the woods, cook over a fire, and smell like smoke all the time. I think the best part was just spending heaps of time with my best friend without phone calls or computers or television shows. We talked, a lot, and he taught me how to start a good fire.
Three cheers for vacations.
Today is a very important day. If I had a calender, today would have five circles and three hearts around it. That’s how important it is. It is also quite possibly my very favourite holiday. And not just because I get to bake cake. No, that’s just a perk, really. The important part of today is that 24 years ago, Adam was born, and I am so glad he was!
I hope all your birthday wishes come true, dear.
Three cheers for my wonderful husband!
